Dear girl who’s struggling..

I know you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life. Maybe you’re living at home when you thought you’d be on your own by now; single when you thought you’d be dating or married; childless when you thought you’d have a houseful of babies; working part-time or for low pay when you thought you’d be on your way to establishing a career. Whatever it is that you think you should have accomplished or achieved or attained by now, I know it haunts you sometimes late at night as you’re trying to sleep, or as you’re scrolling through social media and seeing how perfect your friends’ lives seem to be. I don’t know what’s kept you from those goals and dreams, and maybe you don’t either. Maybe you took some wrong turns that brought you to this place, or maybe there’s nothing you could have done and this is just a season of waiting and learning. Either way, there are a few things I hope you know.

Life is not a race. You are not falling behind. Just because your friends are all getting married, landing their dream jobs, or whatever the case may be, it doesn’t mean you’re somehow losing to them. In fact, if you can take the setbacks and struggles of life and try to see them as blessings, as opportunities to trust God and learn from the situations you’re in, I think that means you’re actually winning at life.

Nothing goes to waste in God’s economy. Maybe your life doesn’t look like you thought it would…but maybe that’s okay. You never know how God is working behind the scenes, how the situations you’re in might turn into something or lead to something better than you could have imagined. You never know how all the puzzle pieces that don’t make sense now might end up fitting together. Years from now, when you look back on this time in your life, maybe you’ll finally see the beauty that grew out of the pain and the longing, even if it wasn’t the result you thought you wanted. God makes everything work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), even if it doesn’t match our definition of what we think would be good for our lives. He knows better than we do, and we can rest in that truth.

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout…so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.'” Isaiah 55:8-11

You are not a failure. To the world, it may look like you are, if you don’t have that house or that job or that ring on your finger. You may feel that way sometimes too, but it’s not true. The only way you can fail at life is to give up, to stop learning and growing and trusting that God has a plan bigger than you can see. You don’t have to keep up with the world’s timetable and definition of success. All you have to do is follow God’s leading and trust that He is working to accomplish His purpose for your life, even when you can’t see it. Never doubt His promise that He “who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Phillipians 1:6)

So whatever you’re trying to do…if you’re still trying to find that job, build that savings account, pass that test, or find your true love…don’t give up. Whatever your dream is, don’t give up. If there’s something you can do to accomplish it, put your best effort into it, but don’t worry about what the world thinks of you. Don’t forget that God loves you fiercely and wants what’s best for you, in His perfect way and time, and rest in that truth when you feel worried or discouraged in the waiting.

Dear girl…don’t give up. There is grace in the waiting and hope up ahead.